• Recent Self Discoveries

    Date: 2011.01.31 | Category: Uncategorized | Tags: ,,,,

    Since my last post was beautifully cohesive my brain has decided that this one can’t be cohesive at all. It refuses to allow me to think of a single subject upon which I can conjure up 3 points. So I will spend this post on somethings I’ve learned about myself.

    1. I read an inaccurately named article about introverts which I found quite intriguing. (http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/46944) I’ve known for quite some time that I am an introvert and I am quite content to be such. What I found interesting, however, is how well it nailed me. There is a section about awkward interactions and inward dialogue that makes me wonder if someone has been reading my mind. “Even a simple opener of ‘Hello, how are you? Hey, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about X,’ from anyone can challenge an introvert. Rather than bypassing the first question or interrupting the flow to answer it, the introvert holds onto the question: Hmm, how am I? (An internal dialogue begins, in which the introvert ‘hears’ herself talking internally as the other person speaks.)” The following paragraphs detail the internal dialogue which seemed like an exact map of my mind. The only problem now is I grab at what I read as a defense. Now when I am in stressful situations instead of thinking “I don’t want to do this! I’m no good at making small talk with hair stylists!” I think, “I can’t do this ! I’m an introvert!” So I guess congratulations go to me. :-) I now understand myself better and have an insta-crutch for why I can’t do something. *hobble hobble hobble* Don’t get me wrong I don’t believe that we introverts need to be “fixed” or that there’s anything wrong with us. I just need to make sure I push through my insecurities when needed and remind myself that I don’t have to fit in or be like everyone else.
    2. I am a Before and After junkie. I love seeing what’s wrong in the beginning, being part of the journey, and reveling in the ever after ending. I love fairy tales. I love makeovers be they people or businesses. I love the shows that follow the ASPCA which depict the salvation of a struggling animal. I am a sucker for the wedding episode of  any tv show because I want to see the bride in all her best. As I’m typing this I am sucked into a “Tabatha’s Salon Takeover” on Bravo and upon checking the guide I’m going to be sucked in for another few hours.
    3. I really hate dreaming about high school. They are some of the worst dreams I’ve ever had. Usually my dreams are about reliving high school and failing tests or being suddenly back in the shuffle of the halls trying to convince anyone walking by that I had already graduated–I wasn’t supposed to be there! In the end I wake up stressed out and upset with the battle fresh in my mind. Recently I’ve had a change up in my high school dreams. In it every single girls’ bathroom had been remodeled into lockers. Everywhere I ran there were more and more lockers. The final girls’ bathroom I went into had been transformed into a sports school store where you could buy anything from pencils with the school logo to football jerseys. I was furious! I started a revolt and picketed the principal’s office for making such changes. I was on my way to becoming a heroine, feeling good about myself, and then I woke up. I’m not sure that my body is sending me the best message about going to sleep with a full bladder.

    We’ve added a new member to our family. So far we’re still in the you’re-in-my-territory-you-smell-strange-I-don’t-like-you stage…but I know that it’ll blow over soon enough. :-)